Status

22 Oct 2017

Well, quite a long time has passed and I have not made any updates to this page. I have been meaning to update but something or the other keeps happening which keeps delaying me retrospectively as a result of which I am unable to add to this blog.

That doesn’t mean that I have not been writing. I have been writing, even though its only a fraction of how much I want to write.

Its also important to have dreams and I am still pursuing some of them. Still. I have been reading Calculus 1 by Apostol and its not easy. This is mathematics with a component of proof writing and the more I try to read this book, the more I understand why I flunked mathematics in my first year. It is completely different from anything of any sort that I have ever done before. I have decided to get into and understand how to read and write proofs. It is an important component of the mathematical education that is something that every math undergrad learns. However, I am not sure how to read proofs and especially how to do them. I feel like I will have a better time in dealing with the non proof portions and the computations but lately I am not even sure about that.

I have also been writing a sort of a journal, it is however more private and includes the kind of whiny nonsense you would expect from me. It is naive to write so its in a special program and stored in encrypted format so that it is not easy for others to get to, even though its nowhere near as embarassing to read as my old blog, which only exists because I am too sentimental to delete it.

I had originally envisioned this blog to be a kind of place where I recorded whatever technological stuff that I was learning or something like that. I am not really learning anything and whats more I am not expected to learn anything anymore, because now I am a banker and the most learning that I am expected to do at my job is about things like loans and advances which require you to know which forms to affix in a loan application and to judge and appraise loans etc. It is a learning of a different sort. I don’t know if I can do that. My father tells me that it is terribly easy but I find myself drawn to reading about mathematics or programming because on some level these are things that I have had the experience of trying to learn. I have looked at the books of finance etc that are meant for bankers(Indian more specifically covering our financial system) and I think that they are terribly vague and I have no idea how people learn from them.

A senior employee of the bank asked me to find out the logic behind why certain forms are required for certain loans, I am not sure if I know or even if I want to know. I hate this kind of uncertainity. I know that staying in my PhD was no longer an option but everyday I’m on the train to HJP, I find myself discovering new appreciation for my PhD. If only it didn’t get so moribund! Oh well no point crying over spilled milk, thats for sure.

Well, I guess this is it for now. I’ll add to this when I get the chance or I will blog more. I don’t really get the time but I will try.